Mourning Dove

At work, Observation Deckin' it. Wave to the Corning Tower if you see it today.

I got some pretty disheartening news about my job. They can't afford to keep me past August. I shall be laid off. It's sad, because I love my tour. But necessary, because I don't quite fit in here. My co-workers are all older, jaded, and looking forward to retirement. I had to leave my post at the phone because one of them was sharing the room, snoring too loud. On the job. In the boss' desk.

Yeah. Time for me to go.

I'm thinking subbing is the way to go. Dad keeps pushing full time teaching, but my resume lacks real teaching experience outside of Holy Names. We'll see how it goes.

Seth and I are unofficially a year now. It's a long story, but there's technically two anniversaries. We've hit the first one. Last August is the next.

Bill and I were observing all the different changes we go through when in relationships, pleasant and irrational. The current "big scary" in my life, is that I've just now realized that I've let my guard down to let another person in. I'm now deeply concerned with how a person thinks of me and also more sensitive to what's said. It's cool and it's terrifying. I've spent a lot of this week analyzing what it means. I think it's good, I just have to get over the "newness" of it.

Anyway, Bill and I were chatting about this anomaly of letting another person in. Stupidly, I remarked that, contrary to popular belief, "I'm a lot more guarded than I let on." To which Bill replies, "Actually, I've always found you to be a fiercely guarded person." And since getting into a long term relationship, he's seen Maeve defenses drop. He approves.

I'm so interested! I never thought I was very obvious about it. Then again, I may not have been terribly self-aware of it either. Of course, I know my own personal changes, but I always figured they were...well. Personal. So I apologize to all my friends if I came off too stand-offish with you folks. :) I never knew. But I know I'm a lot better than I was.

It's been a very good year for me. I have no idea what the next step is, be it in job or relationship, but I'm playing it by ear. My goal last summer was to become a more interesting person, and to stop living a predictable life. I think I've done that. I don't think I could have predicted that I'd be spending every other weekend, on a Hydra-Terra Bus, dressed like a pirate while harassing the citizens of Albany.

Speaking of. Dudes. The Duck Pirate tour? Is kind of the coolest thing ever now that my co-worker and I have re-tooled it. Seriously, grab a little one, and come on board. We sing pirate shanties, wave plastic swords, and do stupid pirate puzzles. And if you don't have a little one to bring, well. Damnit. Dress up like a pirate and throw Nerf balls at children's heads from the ground. Do eeet...!